Over the last couple weeks I have been constantly thinking about being a wife, what the roles, responsibilities, duties are for me. I have been inspired by some biblical passages, specifically Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. I have found some amazing women who are so selfless in their marriage and family, who struggle with the same things I do and who Changed. These women have taken those passages and live it to the fullest in their life. Luckily they have documented it all for women like me who need to learn.
When I was working, and rushing to pick up Alex after work, then sitting in traffic, and then maybe going to the grocery store and home to make dinner, I only ever wanted to be a stay at home mom. When I had that opportunity through a twist of fate and a corporate merger, I squandered it simply because I was overwhelmed. I had these images of June Cleaver and Mister Mom in my mind. I thought I knew how to clean house, I always thought that mostly followed by the wish that I had time too, but when that time came up, I discovered that I am a lousy housekeeper. I thought I could cook, and in fact I can cook for large groups of people, our First Friday parties were infamous, but cooking for us, wisely with nutrition in mind AND being able to use leftovers is something that I just couldn't come up with a educated thought on. I never even thought of taking care of our finances, that was always Casey's worry and honestly money scares me because I can't control myself with it. I thought that being a mom full time would be simple, I get to be with Alex all day! But then I had to answer to my self and my husband who works his butt off about my lack of ability. Sure I was good at taking the time for me, I nurtured me, I spoiled me, but my family suffered.
I have been blessed again to be at home since we moved here to Texas. Yes, I do work, but in the home and on our home businesses, sometimes I even end up back in the classroom teaching what I hated to teach, but now it is a joy. But I still struggle with all of the above. I have been focused this past month, on change, on living a better Wife and Mother role. I have been better. I still have so much to learn, so much to change, so much to just do everyday. But I can tell I am better. I am happier.
I have a huge role to fill as Mrs. Boyles. I am learning to not neglected it. To embrace it and shed the Nicole Price that I was. I have been married 5 years, I have spent the last 5 years with a ring on my finger, a joint bank account, a share bed, but I did not embrace my Job as a wife. I have been thinking of the current Mrs. Boyles who holds the reigning title, Casey's Grandma. When she passes on (hopefully not for many many years) I want to be worthy of this name. She is the glue that holds her family together. Her house is a Home, she feeds your belly and your soul. She loves and shares and is generally amazing. Through marriages and separate family names, the title will some day come to me to be the Mrs. Boyles, and hopefully Alex will have a Mrs. Boyles too. So in the mean time I am studying and learning and reading my bible more. And slowly becoming a fun mix of June Cleaver and Mister Mom.
You can spy on my thankful journal, two christmas presents, and my ever evolving planner in here.
This project must end soon, I am getting B-O-R-E-D.