Where the Nicole things are...

We are two weeks into a new school year. Life has been slightly busy with new school routines, loads of homework, work ( both for me a Casey who has been local for the last 2 weeks), dogs, lack of rain and the resulting weather watching, cooking and triple checking our schedules to make sure I didn't miss anything.

But in the little moments I have been busy planning something special just for me! I can officially say that in November I will be making my first return trip to California in seven and a half years! Can you feel the excitement?! I am seriously bursting with it!

It all started with a new play list on my iPod. It was heavy with the haunting romantic duets from The Civil Wars. I jokingly quipped to Sarah that I was trying to justify a trip to Paris to see them. She replied that she could do a trip to Los Angeles, could I? And BAM there I was planning a serious trip to Cali for a concert with a friend I haven't seen in 17 years. Pretty soon we rolled a day at Disneyland into the mix and plans to be in different areas to see local friends. And it really came together when we bought plane tickets.

And that is how I will be back in California before the year end. I can barely stop myself from jumping up and down and squeeing with joy all day long!

To get a taste of what lured me out of Texas, check out this song. It is heart breaking, beautiful, and so rich with real life!

Foiled, but I am still Happy!

Two weeks ago I dared myself to post through the month of December so I could start off 2011 with my 800th post. Then I got the Mother of All Colds, which is still hanging around in the form of an irritating cough.

Regardless, I am still Happy.

Christmas with my family was Happy, Fun, Sweet, & Good.

Now I am in that weird limbo between the MEGA holiday and a New Year, and I feel like I should be making lists and goals and plans.

But all I can think about right now is taking a hot hot bath with a good book and playlist.

782- All most thwarted!

Whew, that was a close one, I got sick yesterday and wasn't able to post.

Because all I was able to do was lay on the couch under a down comforter, with two dogs piled around me, a glass of water just out of reach, the remote, and a pile of phones. I only surfaced to greet Alex at the door after school, and to shovel some of Casey's cooking in my stomach, and then I passed out again.

I had to work today, like REAL work, as in I needed to get fully dressed and presentable because it wasn't virtual work. Of course the first time I have to do this in 6 months I am dog ass sick.

Enter the love of my cracked out existence, Dayquil tabs. I am so wired on DQ right now that if I stop and look at something with a pattern, my vision gets all sketchy. No joke.

Casey asked me if I am at the heart palpitation part yet. Said like a true veteran of must work a contract while deathly sick days. I am not that bad yet, but I could be if I dose myself one more time. So I won't. Instead I am going to go sit in a hot tub, rub Vicks on my chest, drink a gallon of water, and crawl into bed. Before 9pm.

I have 5 minutes to enact my plan!

19 to go!

I have been blogging/journaling for a long time. I started off on LiveJournal and moved here to Blogger years ago when I wanted to open my blog up to more readers without requiring a login.  Well today's post marks my 781st post here at All the Moments. I can hardly believe it! Apparently I have a lot to say! So I have challenged myself to end the year strong by posting 19 more times in the next 24 days so I can start the new year with post 800!

My Rules*:

1. No picture only posts. Feels like a cop out to me. Maybe i can bend this one for Christmas day.
2. Only 2 listed posts, or else I will just be random poster girl.
3. At least 1 post per family member, cause they are so special to me, and I sometimes forget to talk about them in the midst of talking about me.
4. 1 Final Day in the Life post for 2010.

I am excited! Any suggestions of posts for me?

* I need rules cause I will bend and break them if I don't establish them. :)

Tangled no More

I did it! Ignore my puffy eyes, I had a horrible allergy attack.

 I have had long hair FOREVER! Like really long, it touched the top of my waist band. It had gotten to the point that it was always in my way, getting tangled, and was a headache maker. So this past week I got the idea in my head to donate it it all to Locks of Love. I checked out their site, measured my hair, and then promised to find someone to cut it. The very next day I mentioned it to my friend Kim, who also has very long hair, and she said her stylist will cut and style our hair for free if we donate! Next thing we know, we have a double appointment on Friday.



I have a lot of thick hair, isn't this crazy?!

 I ended up cutting off 14 inches and coloring my hair a shade darker due to a ton of sun and pool damage. I LOVE the shorter length, it's sassy and light and fun. Now I just need to get my donation in the mail and practice drying my hair. :)

Planning

About this time of year I get a new planner. In years past I was a die hard fan of one type, but have branched out to other planners of the same style. I love to have sections of each of us and I really dislike planners that break down the day into hours.

I found this new planner a couple weeks ago and I LOVE IT! It has a everything I want/need in a planner and most importantly I use it. :) Due to this new planner I am on the ball for Thanksgiving, most of my prep for MIL visit is done, and Christmas is all most completely purchased and planned for! Fabulous if you ask me!

If I could will to happen...

I can all most feel that it is Fall, except for the fact that Texas is still sweltering under humidity and 90+ degree weather. But it LOOKS like Fall, the leaves are starting to drop. The grass isn't nearly as bright. The garden is shut down, waiting for possible winter crops. School has started and I got out of class last night in the dark!

Most importantly, the bust out the harvest orchard candles.

Autumn is all most here. Which means Halloween decorations, knitting, hoodies, close toed shoes, down comforters and flannel, and comfort foods. Bliss!

End of these golden summer days

Six days left till school starts up for Alex and I.
Six days till my work schedule becomes out of this universe busy.
Six days till I will pack meals away from home for Alex and myself.
Six days till Casey has TKD duty two nights a week.
Six days till the alarm has to be set early.

So until then...

I have six days to finish painting.
I have six days to finish organizing.
I have six days to relearn that I love early mornings.
I have six days to tempt the kiddo in the pool for morning swims.
I have six days to plan lunches and dinners and menus that I will probably not use.
I have six days to daydream about an idealized Fall.

I have six days.

Lugging Around

A Purse can sure tell you a lot about a person. I read a book one time, maybe it was Scruples, where a woman was judged on the contents of her purse and how tidy it was. Her purse ended up being immaculate and simple, nothing extra in it. I don't think I would pass that test. :)

The Goods:

• My Planner ( Busy Body Book) love this darn thing!
• Garden catalog that I looked through while at Alex's TKD practice
• Trusty note pad
• TKD testing application for Alex's next belt!
• Free car wash coupon.
• Three paint samples for the living room ( still trying to find the right one)
• Two pens and a DS stylus
• My Droid *XOXO this thing!*
• Two hair clips
• One tube of liquid stitches
• Thumb drive
• Liquid tears four pack for emergencies
• Buxom Lipgloss by BE
• Chapstick
• Handsantizer
• One receipt from yesterday breakfast out with Casey
• A lone gum wrapper.
• My wallet
• and a smattering of spare change.

:)

No longer climbing, now we are falling...

Here, I have been here, all the time lately. My Desk, my chair, my laptop, still here. Summer session is done with week 5, I am officially at the halfway point.

Why do halfway points make me want to rush ahead into something new?

Fall is all ready registered for, five more classes, five more A's to earn. Which I am totally going to do.

The Summer Equinox was Monday, that day always makes me hyper aware of Fall, that we are now tumbling towards the end of the year, no longer climbing but falling. I like that thought... I think I am craving winter even in the midst of Summer swimming and gardening.

Once again, a halfway point, rushing towards the end.

**********

Please excuse the melancholy bent on the blog lately. Things are different and changing and adrift, I need to keep steady.

When it Rains...

Yeah there has been a lot going on, hence the blogging break. Because really do you want to hear about:

• the fact that all three cars had some sort of major hiccup over the last two weeks.
• and our Lab ate all the beefsteak tomatoes that were two days away from perfection off the vine today.
• and that a good friend of mine passed away this weekend at the age of 36.
• and her death has triggered some emotional responses and fears of dying young due to poor health.
• and that school is boring as all get out, but there are only 6 weeks left after tomorrow
• or that work really slowed down, like snail speed.
• and that my ENTIRE braid somehow dreaded up on itself the last time I was in the pool and it took me an hour to pick out and now I REALLY need to cut some mega length off.
• or that we saw a scary gory motorcycle accident minutes after it happened.
• and that all the fabulous rain we got last month has resulted in an explosion of flies, who like to come in our house.

Inhale, Exhale, Keep Going Forward.

On the Bright side (because there always is if you look)

• Casey picked up two jobs for the month!
• I switched house insurances and saved a BUNDLE
• and that switched restructured our escrow account which sent us an out of balance check!
• I am slightly car savvy enough to find the problem under the hood and confident enough to go back to the garage to have them fix it AGAIN.
• Alex is loving his summer camp.
• And once again, I am rocking the grades in school, 100+% in every class. Plus due to extra credit.
• And I love my husband, he has been great through the pouring rain, I appreciate that.

Okay, Carry On Nicole!

For Kimberly...

When I was what I would now call a girl, I lived frivolously, never lighting on one thing for long. I had blonde hair that was my vanity and power.

Like Samson I gathered my pride and beauty from the strands that tangled about my face. I used my hair as a veil for the things about myself that I didn't like. My lazy eye, my crooked teeth, my father's nose, the fat that I now know wasn't real.

My mane was something that everyone else saw and some would comment and others would ask and a few would touch. But I have no memories of my hair from that time besides one where I released my hair from a clasp after a long day of work and I felt it swish down my back in a wash of pleasure.

So not only was I frivolous but I was vane about something that I don't even remember. From those years there is only one memory that I can conjure up for hair, hair that wasn't even my own.

It was yours, during one of our hot summer days on a blacktop that has since been paved over. Your hair was braided and the loops that twisted over themselves three times three were gold and blonde and brown. Fluttering behind you were long wisps that had escaped, tangling in the wind and heat.

And I loved your hair that day and was inspired by that memory to braid my tresses in a new kind of heat, Texas swelter, a few recent years ago.

And now I wear Kimberly braids and think of you as I feel their weight on my shoulders and their wisps tangle in my eyelashes.

To the Blue Screen and back

My laptop took a header into crapville on Friday afternoon.

The weekend before Finals week.

The weekend where I should have been putting together my English portfolio that is due Wednesday.

The before mentioned laptop was pretty much the only easy source for all the English papers I have written this semester.

Said laptop was sporting a Blue Screen of Death.

BUT!!!

I have a kickass Casey who can fix anything, especially my laptop.

18 hours later, I can see my hard drive again.

And all my English papers.

And my portfolio is 75% done.

So is the Argumentative Paper that I forgot about, well that is completely done as of now.

I will resurface Wednesday afternoon, after finals and after I back up every single thing on this machine!

:)

Shade Making & Book Reading = Happiness.

I had two hours before Alex got home from school today and I was ansty being inside. I had reading that needed to be done for next weeks finals and other reading that was tempting me. The sky was amazing, and the air was cool, so I did the logical thing and made a shade canopy and a nest of quilts out in the yard.
Bring in music, my blackberry, the two required readings, a passel of pups and combine it all into a perfect afternoon outside, shaded from the Texas sun, but enjoying it to the fullest.

It was lovely and a much deserved bit of relaxation as I near the end of semester.

My Mental Scramble over School

I need to go with Bullets on this one, my brain is a bit scrambled right now what with term papers, finals, planning Summer School and Fall Session (registering for both tomorrow!), AND figuring out a summer camp situation for Alex.

• All classes are A's right now. I could literally not show up for the rest of the semester and get A's. That feels good.
• Trying to decide how many summer classes I want to take? Monday/Wednesday are the days I take in person classes, have two listed so far. BUT I really want to pile on two easy Web classes, State Government and Personal Fitness ( a state requirement). I love having an online class right now, so I know I could fit these into my days. And it would possibly shorten my time at community by a semester before UTSA transfer.
• Looking at the possibility of Alex going to college with me for two weeks in kids programs! Very cool!
• Planned out the rest of my time here at community college before I transfer to UTSA. I could possibly transfer by Fall 2011 if I kick my ass with classes. Hmmmm...
• Didn't realize how many of my classes were going to be math-ish. Guess it makes sense for a business degree. LOL.
• Also working on real business stuff, we are taking our business in a new direction, which is lots more work, both teaching and paper. Whew! I am going to be crazy.
• Super excited to have the month of May off from school! Sooooo glad to have a mental break coming up soon. Yay!
• I have even been looking into a double major. I know it's crazy, but it gets me all excited. :)
• Thinks it is sad that my only creative class for a semester is Speech. It's what I do all day for a living, so I foresee lots of Mini Excel classes in my college future.
• Planning on KLEPing out of a class this Fall, Computer Basics (REALLY?!). So happy about that.
• School rocks my socks.

April goals

March's Goals were pretty much a bust what with Alex's surgery and recovery. I only knocked out selling my scrap stuff, which is more than enough to make the monthly goals complete! April, my favorite month, and not just because of my birthday, but because Spring comes flooding in. I am going to enjoy it.

Simple Goals

Home: Paint the ceiling and walls. PLEASE

Organize: My office closet, time to purge and shuffle

School: Focus Focus Focus, only 4 weeks left.

Food: Eat double the veg everyday!

Family: Spent more than couch time with them.

Health: 30 minutes.

Spiritual: Pick up my books again, study and reflect.

Sanity: Massage and facial, Goodness birthday requests are heavenly.

Tonsil Post #3: 48 hours till surgery

Everyone has been spoiling Alex, I guess it is hard not too. We are all nervous about Thursday. We are all a little worried. We all know it will be okay, but it is still hard to go through any surgery as a family.

Casey, unfortunately is on a business trip this week. We have had it booked since Christmas and it is for a very old client of ours, which means that we didn't want to cancel it. So Thursday, I will be sending him text messages and emails all day long. Yes, Casey would be here if this surgery was a major surgery, but everyone (doctors, nurses, friends and family) have all said that this is a minor surgery even though there is general anesthesia involved. Even the horrors stories from the Internet say that surgery was a piece of cake, its the recovery that is a bitch. Casey comes home on Saturday and will be here to help us through the bulk of the recovery. So all is well.

Alex has been battling a minor cold or infection all week. His fever is gone, but he complains of a headache, sore throat and stomach ache. His doctor says no worries, we will go through with the surgery on Thursday unless his fever is over 102. I can't wait for all these minor colds and infections to go away once his tonsil are out. We are all hoping it is the magic fix for Alex.

My Mom came and dropped off a new DS game for Alex, to spoil him of course. We have multiple Lego sets stashed in the closet for easy play during recovery. I love on him whenever I can.

I try not to let myself think about it too much, I had to make myself stop thinking about the time I will be alone at the surgical center, during surgery, and the small panic I started to feel about that half hour. *sigh*

Tonight Alex and I are cleaning machines! We are super cleaning the house so we can enjoy our Wednesday, and not have to worry about small messes or vacuuming on Thursday or the days after. Cleaning is also what I do when I have something worrying on my mind, it helps to distract my nerves and focus my thoughts.

Damn... I am totally just rambling. More to come tomorrow.

Garden Yearning

Source: Unknown

It's that time of year again, not seed catalog time (even though it is), not Jiffy Pot time (even though it is), not checking for the final day of frost (even though it is)... It's time for me to daydream nonstop about living off the land, growing and canning a massive garden, raising chickens and gathering eggs, compost piling, flower planting, and eating from our work.

In reality I have a very small garden that we have honestly not eaten a lot from. In reality we can't have chickens due to our HOA even though we have more than enough land. In reality my composting had been tiny and insignificant compared to what I could be doing. In reality flowers never grace our yard. In reality we eat from our work but through the grocery store.

In an effort to be a little bit closer to my daydreams I have started my seeds for plants that we WILL eat from, no more tomatoes, no more garlic and potatoes ( I will buy till I have a dedicated bed). I have planted seeds in Jiffy pots and placed them under my Aerogarden as a grow light and I am excited for yet another planting season. I am excited to dig in the dirt and smell green on my hands when I rest for the night. I am excited to try again.

And all of that is Good Enough. :)

Asking the Void

Are you there Blog?

It's me Nicole and I have a lot on my mind. Like how did I end up being a mom to only one kiddo, when all I had ever talked about and dreamed about was to not have an only child, since I was an only child.

And why why why do my toes always the catch the edge of the bed when I have to stumble to the bathroom on these cold winter mornings.

Blog, really are death and taxes necessary? Because I would really like to skip both of those things.

Did you know Blog that Fridays have replaced my love of Mondays? Truly, they have, simply because they seem to be the days in my new crazy schedule that I end up having off. Days where I could sleep in (after the morning school crush of course) but I end up not, and instead do homework and drink coffee in solitude and pursue blog linking threads that lead me all over the interwebs and back.

Blog, do you hear me? Can you answer me? Because Blog, I still haven't taken a picture for my February banner and I don't know if I will get to it because I keep getting distracted mostly be seed catalogs and daydreams of being a College History professor. But not Indiana Jones history type professor more like an idealized Anthropologie modeling shoot History professor. Don't you think I would look cute in ruffles and delicate jewelry drifting yummy perfume behind me in the halls? OMG Blog, did I just have a Mrs. Robinson daydream? Nope way, didn't happen.

So hey Blog, what kind of twist is fate going to throw my way because whenever I have weeks and months of change and more change, something outside my change range always happens. Can you give me fair warning just in case it is the other partner to the taxes couple I mentioned earlier? Because I think I might want to know that before hand, just to straighten out some kinks and to wear cute underwear. Okay, thanks.

I love you Blog,

Nicole, who has chilly toes and finger niblets.

A year to let things go... she said

My mom gave me my grandmother's diamond earrings today. The posts are ribbed, the backs have to be screwed on, a safety net so they won't fall off accidentally. As I attempted to put them on this afternoon, I remembered being a little girl, watching my mom put on her jewelry, and how she always reaches her arm behind her head to put on her earrings. I still have never seen anyone else do it the same way.

This little thing, this small piece of family that she has been holding on to, was passed to me. It made my heart quicken and thud heavier in my chest.

"I am not ready for this"... I thought...

I am not ready for her to pass on family items because I don't want her to give them up yet.

She talked about going back to Indiana to get the final boxes out of storage that were from my grandmother's house. She talked about finding the winter coat of her brother in the bottom of a keepsake box in her mom's closet.

Her brother died ten years before she was born, of cerebral palsy. We didn't even know the cause of his death till after I had Alex. Skeletons in the families closet, next to small winter coats.

She wondered out loud to me over coffee and tea, What to do with that coat? I could only say to keep it, because it was family. In my mind, I can see my grandmother in her closet, folding away her son's winter coat, memory keeping because he was gone and would need it no longer.

I am not ready for her year of letting things go. I don't know how to handle the ghosts in objects that she is ready to release to me. I don't want to think of mortality, not yet.