The weekend in hindsight

This past weekend was a complete whirlwind. Looking back over the 72 hours that it made up I can see why all three of us are exhausted today. Feel free to skip this next part if you take my word for the weekend craziness.

Alex had a Halloween party, I hung out with my parents for a couple hours and then made a late run to the airport to get Casey, we picked up Alex around midnight on the way back form the airport and then made a stop at Walmart to see if they had any fog machines left. Came home and passed out around 2am, was woken up by the doorbell, it was my friend who I said I would go to the farmer's market with, delayed 15 minutes to take a fast shower and dress, strolled said Farmer's Market. Came home, did some more decorating inside and tried to manage the mega piles of laundry that sprouted out of our carpet. Dropped Alex off at my parents house so Casey and I could have dinner out for our anniversary. Discovered that we had been at the restaurant 3+ hours (so fun!), made a late night run to grocery for beer, came home and decorated the front yard for Halloween at 11pm. Passed out at midnight, up early to get Alex from parents house, home to finish decorating with Alex, more laundry, some cleaning, a term paper, an accounting project, ordered pizza, trick or treating, home to hand out candy with Casey. Broke down decorations at midnight, in bed shortly after, and up around 4am because Casey had to leave on a business trip. Whew! 

But between all the madness I happily loved on our new wall color. Ignore the catastrophe around it. That would be the leftovers from Halloween, late night trip packing and weekend living.

 I also present to you the mess that was me after painting the popcorn ceilings in the living room and hallway. This was the light amount of spatter, my chest and arms were all most completely white. Loads of work, but so worth it! Yes that is paint on my lips and near my eye. I get into my work. :)



Hell Froze Over Today

I did something HUGE today...

I finished painting the ceiling and finished painted the living room!!! I am covered in scattered popcorn and ceiling paint and am super sore, but so happy with the results.

I want to do a little bit of touch up tomorrow and need to paint the trim and fire place walls (white), so one more day to the big reveal!

Can you believe I finally finished painting?!?!?!?! This is a red letter day! I should go buy a lottery ticket!

Sunday Sunday

I have had a crap week and because of my behavior my family has had a crap week as well. I found myself wallowing and falling into old crap patterns of defensiveness. Which has never helped in the past so why would it help this time? So I changed things up a little bit.

• I sat up in bed last night knitting and listening to Things you missed in History class podcasts. I finished one project and plowed through half of another all while learning about Catherine the Great and Jamestown Shipwrecks. Progress!
• I got up and took Alex to church and listened and prayed and thought about how my faith needs to be a tool and not a crutch. Progress!
• Came home and leashed up the Penny dog and took a walk. First purposeful exercise in ummm forever! Progress!

Something different feels good. Admittedly I have a level of disgust laced into my accomplishment because these are all things I should have all ready been doing. And instead of turning introverted, trying to figure out where I stopped being Me in my life, I going to look forward and live.

Progress!

These are the days...

Alex with a popsicle and Mr. Harry at the worst BBQ in Texas.

These are the days where the end is in sight, and the future is on the horizon and the last term paper has been submitted and every ounce of will power is needed to stay focus for three more days of school.

These are the days when my friend has had her baby and I can stop carrying around my camera and set my phone ringer back on vibrate instead of loud and I don't have to make a late night trip to the hospital where I get zero sleep.

These are the days where the weather is turbulent and the pool is starting to tempt us when it is hot and sticky, except the pool is a swamp of winter algae and debris and the upper deck is tempting all on it's own because of the flowers I planted weeks ago.

These are the days when hot meals and casseroles are being pushed aside in favor of fruit and cheese and crackers or sandwiches and yogurt or smoothies made with ripe bananas and clementines.

These are the days when my ten year old asks me with the disclaimer that he is not trying to be rude, If I have lost weight, and he is right because I have and with very little effort besides a tiny bit of kibashing on late night snacking.

These are the days when life is good and getting better and habits are becoming not just habits but ways of life.

These are good days.

The Anti-Fast Food and Soda Update

Okay, on my birthday 10 days ago I gave up Soda and Fast Food. Haven't had any fast food since then and have only indulged in 2 Diet Cokes and 3 sips of Dr. Pepper. The Diet Cokes I was fine with but the Dr. Pepper was NASTY!!! Seriously I felt like I was drinking chemicals, which DUH I was. :)

Since then, I have noticed that I am not nearly as puffy as I use to be in the face. My checkbones are coming back, my jawline is more defined, and slowly my lovely chin is getting smaller. I have no idea if I have lost any weight because I haven't gone near a scale just yet. BUT I look better and FEEL better. Yay!

I am falling back in love with ice tea again though. Turns me into a highly caffinated Nicole.

Here I sit...

My spot, my space, my cluttered desk, my favorite place to think, muse, create, write, dig deeper.

It is raining still so the sky outside is dusky and closer to being dark then light. The house is empty save for muffins and me. Which means I can indulge in a single light and very loud moody music.

The music fits the weather like a soundtrack. Perfection and completion. Music makes everything rounded and full. No silence for me today.

The day has unexpectedly become open, no obligations but a mighty to-do in the works. To-do lists that are self propelled are a favorite, a list that I actually want to complete and enjoy the process.

Plus there are some birthday gift cards burning a hole in my wallet. Flaming with possibilities and probabilities, siren's calling me. Aren't gift cards a perfect way to extend a birthday?

Yesterday's birthyear goal post really helped me to clarify some mental ramblings. Especially goals number 18 and 29, Put my family first, remember who is important and look to them. So I stepped back from someone and closer to my men. I made a cookbook dinner and rebooted laundry. I cleaned and placed a pretty table. I just have to work on the mega bitch attitude. Grumpiness clings to me like oil. slick and dirty. It comes directly from the source that was causing me to ignore my true duties.

Refocus today. Here I sit contemplating the best use of a free day, with my list in mind and music painting my thoughts.

Today will be a productive happier day.

33 is LUCKY!

I usually make a list on my birthday of all the things I did over the last year of my life. This year, my 33rd, I am going to do something different because 3 is my lucky number and that luck will help me complete 33 goals during this next year. Hold on to your muffin tops folks, the list...

1. I am going to post more photos, REAL photos. I am good, all most great, at taking a real picture (gotta toot my own horn) but I rarely post pictures, especially of myself. So from now on, more pictures, even the ones that are technically good but I don't like because they show you how fat I have gotten. So I am starting with the above picture that I took last Sunday in the car on the way up to Austin. My hair is frizzy due to rain, my double chin is still hanging out there, and my wandering eye is really wandering because I was super tired. BUT this is ME and I am really trying to LOVE me as I AM.
2. Weight Control: Seriously I have let myself go, and not in the good way like that country song, I am heavier than I have ever been (even when I was pregnant!) and I am feeling really unhealthy and sluggish and unhappy. Lots of "un's" come with being over weight. Time to lose it. A specific goal to come on this soon.
3. I am going to cook my way through my cookbook library, there is no reason for us to be eating the same meals over and over. My only excuse is that I get lazy (surprise!) and don't make a plan. No more, those books are coming out and are going to be used!
4. Get a 4.0 each semester. There are three more semesters in this birthday year, so I am going to stick with my academic goal of a 4.0.
5. Write more, I need to get out of my head and what typically holds my attention in my head are my thoughts. So LOGICALLY if those thoughts are down on paper (or screen) I can focus more on reality. Makes sense right? :)
6. Increase our garden space and usage. I want a serious harvest this year, which means working the beds.
7. FINISH painting in the house. Our downstairs has been incomplete for over a year. No more, time to bust it out and do it right.
8. Be nicer to those I love. I am a serious BITCH. I have never understood the phenomenon where people are nastiest to those they are closest too. Time to show the love and care.
9. Budget Queen. Once again bringing my attention to the financials.
10. Branch out our business. Super expanding outside of my comfort zone. More to come on this.
11. Write more letters and send more cards. I love snail mail and so does everyone else. Time to bust out the stamps and visit Hallmark.
12. Make our house smell clean. Casey returned a piece of misdelivered mail to a neighbor last week and his first response to the visit was that her house smelled CLEAN, like lemons and soap and fresh air. Ummm... our house, not so much.
13. Setup and use a serious cleaning plan. Might just hop back on the Flylady wagon, she has all ready done all the work, I just have to follow it.
14. Knit and Crochet MUCH more. I want to finish the projects that I have on my sticks. So many partially started items.
15. Purge 33 items from our house EACH MONTH. Should end up with 396 clutter items removed by the birthyear end.
16. Take better care of my skin. Starting with a facial at the end of the month.
17. Finish my "To Be Prepared" list. I wrote it a year and a half ago, but haven't crossed off a single item.
18. Put my FAMILY first.
19. Find my mojo.
20. Repurpose and EAT the leftovers. I am so bad about this.
21. Keep up a yoga routine, I fell off the yoga wagon forever ago. Well to be honest I wasn't really on it, more like looking at it as it drove away.
22. Be HONEST. No lies, white lies, half truths, exaggerations, embellishments or manipulations.
23. Save money.
24. Watch less TV, because honestly it is mostly trash. Which means I need to teach myself that trash isn't good. But it sure can be fun to watch!
25. Stop going to fast food places. A true weakness for me. I bet if I don't eat at a fast food place for an entire year I could lose at least 20 pounds from that act alone.
26. No more SODA. It's the Devils drink. :)
27. Go to church regularly. I miss it, I miss getting into the Word, I miss prayers and forgiveness.
28. Stop believing hurtful words. Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. (Unless I believe them).
29. Remember who really matters and look to them.
30. Enjoy EVERYDAY.
31. Wake up happy. It is a choice and I need to stop choosing the Mega bitch role.
32. Walk the pups, they deserve to see the world.
33. Love myself even though the low points.

Happy Birthday Me!