New Years Eve, perfect

We spent New Years Eve at home this year, just like years past. There is a comfort to ringing in a new year within our own walls, with our cooking, our libations, our family and friends. If last night is any indication to have 2011 will be like for us, then we are in for a great year.

Me, tired, happy and anticipating a new year.

Casey, Master and Commander for all things fun.

Alex, a blur all night, there were way too many Nerf fights, snacks, and fireworks to explode to slow down.

Kim, girlie girl with the Fouey pup. The background image is a great peek into the crazy times we had.

Robert, Copilot and instigator of craziness.



For You, the person on the other side of the Dark Glass

When I was a little girl I use to put my finger tip on the mirror and would peer intently at the point between my finger and my reflection. The space between reality and reflection. It seemed like it held a multitude of shadows, blocked out by my single digit. A space apart yet part of the picture.

I think of that space sometimes, and secretly press my finger to a shower fogged glass or a newly windex'ed mirror just to see that it still exists. When I do it's like I am connecting somehow to that point between, that Neither Land.

You mentioned a Dark Glass, a lyrical reference, but an image of that secret space between. And I knew that we were sisters somehow. Bound by similar and dissimilar. I heard you friend. I hope that brings you comfort.

For Laurie

My discount bin violet, $2 never looked so good.

Dear friend, friend who told amazingly funny stories. I have read your last story now, there won't be anymore coming.

Dear mother, mother who loved her son with all her being and soul and heart. I have sent your son love and prayers in your stead.

Dear woman, woman who just recently found new love. I have blown kisses and hugged air for your lover who is without you now.

Dear gardner, gardener who tended her plants and flowers with instinct and delight. I have planted a row in my soil to tend for you.

Dear Laurie, Laurie who touched so many, Laurie who loved me and who I loved. I have missed you these past days and know that someday we will meet again.

The thought of you waiting to greet me brings a smile to my face. I know you will have an amazing story for me.

On the Edge Of It

The edge of tonight's spring storm.

The other day I talked to two of my oldest and dearest friends. Like all our conversations they started off with random silly things we have said for years and years, said for so long that we forgot the silliness that started them in the first place. But these things are the habits and actions that keep the friendship webbing between so strong regardless of the years and miles. As soon as the silliness stopped I knew that this was a serious phone call, one of those phone calls that make us feel like adults of today, not the silly kids we were in the past.

These two are going through a tough time, a time that I know they will overcome, that will make them closer to each other (more then they all ready are), a time that will be hard, but will have been worth it for all that they were able to avoid. I have been thinking about them and their son this week, sending out prayers and love into the heavens in their names, holding them closer to my heart. Wishing that they didn't have to go through it.

Seeing how they are during this time has shown me that so much beauty can be seen during the ugliest and roughest experiences. Whether it is the beauty of a strong marriage or the noble character that shines through, there is beauty there to be noticed and noted. So even though I doubt they will read this, I just want it said that I am so proud of their family and have so much love for them as they weather this storm. I love you guys.

A beautiful fold.

This sums it up

These pretty much sum up Lisa's visit.

King's Chair
Agave Wine, after Monster Nachos and double Margi's.
Carrot Cake with the best Cream Cheese Frosting ever!
Bear Moon pastries.
Chicken Cheesey Spaghetti, she DROOLED in her plate.
Mid Cavern Hike
Getting ready for the caves.

Alex and the Bat Guano Mountain. You have no idea how big this MOUNTAIN is.
Our Home Depot Adventure, an entirely different post.
Watch me Swing.
Bear Moon lunch, Eggplant sandwiches and ham and Swiss quiche.
The Frog Seizures.

A Pre Vacation

She is coming out for a visit! YIPPY!!

I'll take a chunk out of that one

My lovely fun friend Sharon gave me a gifty today, well actually two gifties. One was a beautiful shell bracelet that she brought back from her trip to St. Lucia, the other is the wonderfully addictive WebKinz (virtual pets that Alex and I and her and her son play together). The piggy is soft and sweet, but the bracelet took a chunk out of my finger, literally. the clasp is a tension clasp and it doesn't like me one bit. So while I love my new Webkinz (Alex got a rabbit), the bracelet makes me hurt. ouch

4am and everthing after

Everyday this week I have been up at 4am, all so I can go walking with a friend. Those first 15 minutes after tearing myself from bed are so brutal. My eyes are swollen and thick, my thoughts are scattered and half formed, and the pillows look so perfectly shaped for my head. But walking has been great. I was so sore the first two days, slightly sore the next two, this morning though I was energized before we started and not even a lick sore. Once home I super cleaned my kitchen, did two loads of laundry, gathered and took out the trash, cleaned up the hard floors downstairs, pulled some weeds, played with the puppies, and have drafted a mega to-do list. I can totally see the merit of waking up so early each day, so much more can get done without a kiddo underfoot. There is also so much quiet. No TV or sounds, no cars, no one around except us two, the sky is still dark with the sunrise about an hour away, and we have had some of the best conversations. It is amazing what you will talk about while walking fast in the dark giggling like schoolgirls.

I am remembering...

Casey and I started dating the Fall of 1993, the following summer he introduced me to me Dave Matthews Band and the music and lyrics of that band quickly seeped into every part of my life, my dreams, my future.

Tonight, my husband asked me if I was okay, and when I answered honestly with a shake of my head, he asked me to join him downstairs to sit with him for a while. So I curled up in my corner of the couch and watched a bit of the movie on TV and really just sat there being sad. Sad because of the things that changed and I wasn't even aware of it. Sad because I wasn't trusted and I was avoided. Sad because I thought I knew a relationship so well, and now there is a huge hole in it that I didn't even know was there. After that small bit of time I came up stairs still feeling that tight achiness under my ribs, still feeling isolated and lonely.

And then I saw the lyrics and the note that has been in front of me for 12 years. You see 12 years ago Casey printed out the lyrics to I'll Back You Up and wrote me a note.

Remember 2 things:

1. We'll always be with each other

2. We'll always grow together.

And for 12 years I have posted that note in a sleeve on my bulletin board at eye level. Reading that love note made me realize that my greatest friendship is downstairs snuggled on the couch. My greatest friendship is my marriage. And with that friendship I am not alone. And if I am isolated it is because I make myself that way.

Even though I am greatly sad about something I discovered tonight, I am going to go sit with my husband and Remember those two things he told me so many years ago. I am so thankful that when I told him earlier that I was really sad about something, he understood, he soothed me with the words I needed to hear, and he let me wander aimlessly and he wrote that love note to me so many years ago.

And for my friend, know that I am only ever happy for you, always.

14 hours and no Pictures

My good friend Melissa, that I met in San Diego,worked with for years and became great friends with, lives in Austin. We reconnected after years with no contact about 4 months ago.

Well yesterday evening, she came down for an impromtu visit, and I forgot to take any pictures with her.
We did have a fabulous dinner out with great conversation, tons of giggles, and loads of girl talk. And food, really good food, so fun. A comfy lat enight ont he couch with bad B rated horror movies wine and Casey. And an easy mellow morning with good coffee and Pj's.

So now she headed back home and I am posting minus a picture, DAMN IT!