You.

Dear Casey:

Have I ever told you how much I loved that you pursued me 15 years ago? You were everything that my teen aged heart wanted in a guy. You were HOT, smart, funny as all get out, you were the popular guy, you romanced me with poetry and flowers, you were passionate and opinionated, you were the dangerous boy who was so so so good. When we first flirted you had long pink hair and you took me to meet your parents at a competition. You use to point out that my jawline was strong and defined, something so little that you so vocally admired. You thought my body was awesome, something that I had never thought myself. You taught me to love me as I was through your words and actions and love.

Seven years ago we married at our winery. We said our vows in front of all our family and friends, people who had supported us in our decisions for years. You wiped away my tears through my laughter, you held my hands tight and never took your eyes from me until we both looked at Alex. You gave me the magical wedding that I had imagined, all feminine and girlie and beautiful. You picked a wedding ring that I get complimented on all the time. And you didn't smash cake in my face, thank you thank you thank you.

A Couple weeks ago I hung up our collage frames that we had stored for years. They are full of us, young us, the beginning of us, and I have loved staring at them remembering those moments and others not pictured. Alex has been learning those early stories, the small details about you that I remember. Like your hands, how they were always callused from your music playing. And how you would play with Matt every single day after school. I have told him about the ham and cheese sandwiches we use to share at lunch and how you use to call my winter coat my Patting bear coat. I have shown him all the pictures of us snuggled up so tightly in each others arms and he pointed out how you are doing the finger scratching thing you do in all most all of them. You do that to him sometimes.

Casey, I love you, all of you. The guy you were, the man you are today. Today your hands aren't callused from playing your bass but from the pen caps you click open and closed while you teach. Today you play with Alex every chance you get, always challenging him to a game of some sort. Today you make cheese pizzas and share them with us both. Today you steal my Ugg slippers and wear them around with your heels hanging off the back. Today I have tons of pictures of you snuggled up with Alex or with one of the pups. Today you work your ass off to give to us. You give us time, you give us security, you give us all of you.

I have wanted you from the beginning, have wanted you in my life for always. I am so glad that you are Alex's Daddy, that you are my husband, that we moved to Texas together, that we have stuck together. I am so glad that I have 15 years of you to look back on and to smile over.

Happy Anniversary Casey. I love you.

Nicole